CWF Group Member – Alex, husband of Ana
So here’s my perspective on birth so far (five home births, first with a midwife, then four unassisted).
There are many who like to include the father in the birth process, or train him to be a birth coach, or take a more active role, etc. Certainly, if he hasn’t done so, these things would be great steps in the right direction. However, ideally I think a more accurate statement of the reality of the situation is that the woman should be doing her best to help the father with his responsibility of seeing his children born into this world. That is to say, ultimately, the outcome of the birth event (and all things leading up to, and following this happy moment) rests squarely on the shoulders of the man (and secondarily upon the woman as his helper). No matter how interested or involved the woman may become in the birth or care for her children (born or pre-born), I humbly submit the man must be even more knowledgable and well-prepaired. Now obviously, he is unable to directly affect the birth outcome because the baby doesn’t grown within his flesh. He must exert his control indirectly, and I’ve found that it can only be done through careful, sustained, deliberate, selfless, true love demonstrated towards his wife. No ACOG/AMA approved mechanical apparatus or invention or intervention will do what genuine Biblical charity and sensuality can. This disposition towards his wife is what created the child in the first place, and it is what will carry her through the delivery, it is what will sustain the life growing within her, it is what will make that child’s heart sing day to day throughout his life. The father’s love for his wife. (Not coincidentally, this relationship is the one upon which all of human existence depends, it is the only Truly Foundational Instituion and Lifestyle Originally Created.) There is no limit to the number of phyisical manifestations this love could have. We may study the release of certain hormones or other physical elements present when a man loves his wife – but it is erroneous to believe those elements can then be extracted from the originating act of love, and applied in love’s absence to obtain the same effects.
So, knowing then that God has anticipated the birth event, and has prepared men well by commanding them to love their wives, what more can men do? They must first and foremost make their hearts right with God – not according to the standards of some regional 501(c)(3) religious services organization – but according to His Law, in Spirit and in Truth as recorded in His Word. Inevitably this means acquiring a perpetual portion of humility to change what must change quickly. Man’s walk with the Lord is highly relevant to the birth process for it sutbly but powerfully affects the way he treats his wife.
Having a fundamental understanding of the God of Birth, we can look to what He meant for the first men to do, and how He intended them to live. How did God create the world? What did He intend us to eat? How did He intend us to pass that which was eaten? Many other questions and their answers flow from these contemplations, and I hope to discuss them at length here.
I apologize if nothing explicitly birth specific was mentioned here, but I had to start somewhere! Might as well start with the basics! lol We’ll get to the nitty gritty I’m sure. 😉
So yeah. God is Love. Everthing flows from Him. So let us live in accordance with this reality, and love our wives until death as we have vowed. 🙂